When we saw this question, we couldn’t resist answering.. if only that it’s such an unusual question that we’ve never been asked before. And, it’s a legitimately good question.
I must say, from re-watching the final cut of the video, Richard and I have very different opinions on this matter. The thing we both agree on is that there’s almost nothing better when traveling around the world than staying with friends and people that live there. They can show you around when they have time, explain all sorts of cultural angles that you wouldn’t necessarily know by yourself or find in guidebooks, they can recommend places to visit and eat, and literally make your experience as rich and authentic as possible. I’ve done it in Spain, Italy, Cyprus, across the US and Canada, and I’ve always had a good experience.
So therefore, we both see no reason why that shouldn’t be factored in when making this decision.
To be clear, we weren’t given all the information about the situation in the question, so we had to assume certain cultural aspects. For example, it wasn’t stated whether the couple lives together or not, but most likely they don’t because it’s just not a cultural norm to live together in Korea prior to marriage, even though it does occasionally happen. (We have a friend that used to live with her boyfriend but her parents never knew about it.) We also don’t know the age of the couple, how long they’ve been together, or how serious their relationship is. Further, it wasn’t stated whether the man lives with his parents, or if he has his own place.
Where we differ on this is how we perceive the relationship factor between the friend (man) that she is staying with and his girlfriend. I think the boyfriend should be honest and tell his girlfriend that he has a female friend coming to stay with him. This way, he isn’t trying to hide anything and will be building trust in their relationship. Richard’s viewpoint is that whether he tells his girlfriend or not, she’s not going to be okay with it and it’s almost inevitably going to ruin the relationship. My thought is, she may not be okay with it regardless, but communication is really the most important thing. I mean, if the girlfriend is open-minded like some people are, maybe the visitor can stay with her instead!
The issue here is that, in many relationships we’ve witnessed in Korea, jealously somehow almost always plays a factor. Seriously you guyz, it’s straight out of dramaland. It’s like being jealous is a good thing in some way here, because it shows you’re interested more in the significant other and, jealous is equated to love. In other words, if you’re jealous, than you’re in love with them. Personally I think it’s bullshit, and one of the reasons why my relationship works well with Richard.
Last week’s LIKE IT: