Don’t let the title fool you! WE ARE NOT PREGNANT!!!

We decided to discuss this topic with each other while the camera was rolling because we get asked this question often. Actually A LOT. It’s not just fans that ask, but family and friends as well. We were home this summer and got asked this by just about everyone. We remember fielding this question while home visiting everyone this summer more than any other.

There are quite a few things that come to mind for us when we think about starting a family in Korea. One are the opportunities. If we were to have a child while living in Korea, our baby would (most likely) grow up learning two languages simultaneously as long as we supported this approach. There are schools everywhere here that teach in Korean language, that a child could easily attend, and because English is spoken here at home that’s a recipe for a dual language child. This would be much more difficult to accomplish if we lived in the U.S. Another big positive is the multicultural atmosphere our child would be exposed to daily. This is something that neither Richard nor I had on a large scale growing up. There are other positives, like dual citizenship and other interesting factors to take into consideration in a situation like this that we have not seriously looked into yet.

There are also some obvious downsides to having a baby while abroad here in Korea. The largest obstacle that comes to mind is the regular absence of our families in this child’s life. We live far from both our families. In fact, my family in Pennsylvania is about 10 times closer to Richard’s family in New York than we are to either of them. Weird. Nevertheless our child would grow up with grandparents always being far away except when we traveled to see them, and that doesn’t seem so attractive to us. We also got to see firsthand this summer the foundation and support our siblings (who both have children) receive from our parents. We would be lacking this support here in Korea for the most part. This would put a strain on us we believe. We know it would. We all know raising a child is not easy, and the help of family and friends can be a life saver at times when raising a child in the early years.

For those of you reading this who have children, what are the biggest challenges you face in your situation?

Addressing this type of questions itself is difficult for us. Actually, for all the times anyone has ever inquired about if we plan to start a family or not, answering this question as a childless couple never seems to get easier for us. Not sure why that is.

We’ve noticed that some people like to phrase the question like this: “Are you thinking about having kids?” Now don’t get us wrong, we know what they mean. They intend to convey whether or not we have plans to actually get pregnant. The answer to that is no, we have not made plans to get pregnant yet. But its peoples wording that we stumble over, mostly because we both like trying to be as honest as possible in our lives. The answer to whether we’ve been ‘thinking about’ having a child is yes, we’ve thought about it. Doesn’t mean we have plans to do it, it just means we’ve been thinking about it. This has caused us more confusion amongst many who have asked us that it’s laughable.

Has anyone else in a situation like us (recently married without children) ever experienced anything like this?

Which is why we liked the Nicholas’s questions so much! We asked if we were to start a family in Korea. This is also something we’ve thought about, and often. I’ve always thought I’d eventually become a mother after getting married.

Soooooo.. we made this video. A little crazy? Yes! But whoever said we were normal. Certainly not either of our mothers. ☺

  • natalia

    you guys are great 😀 you should totally wait until you are ready to have the cuttest baby !

    • hallyuback

      Aww you’re sweet! I think any couple would hope for this. ^^

  • ladysaotome

    We accidentally got pregnant within a few months of our wedding. I wasn’t thrilled as I was looking forward to it being just the two of us for a while. (After 3 years of long distance, we were finally together.) And then I felt guilty for not being very happy. Not to mention not feeling prepared at all. But as cliche as it is, that truly does change the instant you see your baby. My little kiddo is 9-yrs-old now and I cannot imagine life without her. At the time we lived very close to my family but across the country from his. When she was 6-months-old a job opportunity presented itself and we moved 1500 miles away from my family and 300 miles from his. It sucks being so far away from my family – I’m very close to my mom and it kills me being so far. We only get to visit every few years but we do skype a lot of talk or text almost daily. But we are a family unit first and I think it’s been very good for our marriage having to rely mainly on each other. Plus, there are so many wonderful people in this world. I’ve been blessed with bosses that put family first and so I am always able to be there for our daughter when she needs it, friends who I can turn to for advise or assistance, etc.

    • hallyuback

      Richard read me this comment last night as I was crawling into bed and it touched my heart. I can’t tell you how happy I felt to hear someone’s story similar to ours, and in so much detail. Living far away from family can be hard, but what you wrote is inspiring to me! Richard and I rely on each other more than we probably would back home too! We both really appreciate you sharing your experience like that. It’s good to know from a first hand experience that raising a child far from grandparents is not only possible but can be such a positive and rewarding experience. ^^